Creating a Positive Climate:
The "HOW" Part
-Jim Laube - August 1999
In previous "Feature Articles" we’ve discussed several, what you might call, "foundational truths" about management, organizations, the working environment and basic human behavior. If these observations, statements, concepts, whatever you want to call them, make sense and you can see the connections between management, state of mind, climate and the ability of a group of people to function together successfully, then you’re probably ready for the "how" part. In other words, ‘how" can a manager or supervisor manage and interact with his or her people that results in those people enjoying their jobs more and become highly productive, customer-focused workers.
Ego – Do Your Best to Leave Home Without It
The first aspect of the "how" part deals with ego. Ego is that part of our psyche that is concerned about who and what we are, our own "self-image." Ego is how we see and define ourselves in relation to others. Now everyone has an ego. But ego can become a major problem when we allow it to become inflated into a sense of overblown self-importance. As our personal image of self rises to excessive levels so does our dependence on external forces to validate our lofty (and unrealistic) sense of self.
With an out of control ego, a person becomes obsessed with propping up their self-image. This leads to insecurity and feelings of fear, envy, resentment and all sorts of negative and destructive emotions. When people become obsessed with themselves, they are easily intimidated by others. When things are going their way it’s common for an egotistical person to feel superior and entitled to special treatment. Conversely, when things aren’t going so well, the egotist’s self image is threatened and they can become very reactive and difficult. An egotistical manager is extremely tough to work for because they take themselves and their personal agenda ‘very’ seriously. (Sound familiar? If not read, Confessions of a "Jerk" Manager .
Being driven by your ego is like pulling the pin on a grenade and then walking around all day with it in one hand. You basically become an accident ready to happen at any instant!
The benefits of controlling your ego and having a healthier, more realistic sense of yourself are numerous and have a profound effect on your own mental health, the state of mind of your people and the ultimate success of your restaurant. The secure manager with a healthier, more realistic self image is better able to see an accurate picture of what’s going on around them. He doesn’t get paralyzed worrying about what action to take that will make "him" appear in the best light; he can put the interests of the restaurant, his customers and his people ahead of himself without feeling threatened.
What’s more, the manager who is able to control his ego doesn’t take everything his people do personally. For example, if an employee doesn’t show up for work, a manager caught up in his own ego may (wrongly) conclude that the employee didn’t show up just to spite him, personally. The ego-driven manager will often overreact and get very upset. The secure, non-ego driven manager, however, knows that the missing employee would be doing the same thing regardless of who the manager was, so they deal with it in a much more mature and appropriate way.
An oversized ego for some people can be a difficult (but not an impossible) thing to harness. Egotistical managers take "themselves" and "their" agenda too seriously. A good manager in my mind is one who takes the "restaurant," the "customers" and his "people" very seriously, but has a relaxed, good-natured sense of self.
A well-adjusted manager usually has a better sense of humor and well-being, and is able to take the pressures and problems of the job in stride. This type of manager automatically helps to foster a more positive working environment and a higher "climate" in the restaurant.
A Few Ideas on Controlling Your Ego
1. The first step is to just become aware of your ego and understanding it’s destructive potential when you let it gain control of your thinking. During those times, understand that you’re a liability not only to yourself but to your people, your restaurant and ultimately your customers. You’re not doing yourself or anybody else any favors when your ego is in the drivers seat.
2.
Recognize when you’re getting caught up in your own ego, and take personal responsibility for it. Notice when you start to take yourself too seriously or make too much of an issue of YOU. These are signs that your sense of self is overblown and you’re just reacting to an underlying sense of insecurity. Realize that nobody else forces you into your ego; each of us goes there on our own accord. Don’t blame it on anyone else. When you play the blame game, you’re exhibiting an inflated ego at it’s best.
3.
When you know you’re operating in high-ego mode, don’t take your thoughts too seriously. Accept the fact that your perceptions of what’s going on and your thinking is seriously flawed and that you aren’t capable of dealing with people very effectively, if at all, at the moment.
On a personal note, I remember getting on an airplane recently. It was an evening flight and I had had a pretty hectic day. A fellow traveler in front of me, who was getting ready to sit in the seat next to mine, opened the overhead compartment to store his bag and found it filled with blankets. He pulled out the blankets and put them in my seat. He then stowed his bag and took his seat leaving me to find a place for all those blankets. For whatever reason, I became unglued. It really annoyed me that this person would be so rude to ME!
I suddenly realized I was on the verge of being out of control. I was taking this rather insignificant act of what was just impolite behavior personally and blowing it way out of proportion. That’s what an inflated ego can do. Just realizing what a hot head I was being helped me to see the situation for what it was and calm down. I moved the blankets, sat in my seat, and actually struck up a friendly conversation with the guy later during the flight. Had I allowed my ego to remain in control, I would’ve had a miserable flight and might have said or done something really stupid.
4.
When your ego flares up, try to relax out of your posture of self-importance. When you find you’re making an issue of yourself, try some self-depreciating or humorous self-talk. This has always worked wonders for me. The illusion of being the most important person on the planet immediately starts to melt away when you tell yourself what a knuckle-head you’re being. In no time I usually feel better and get back in touch with reality.
As I look back on my first few months as a restaurant manager I can see that my ego was controlling almost everything I was doing. I was so wrapped up in my own success that I had virtually no regard for my employees or even the restaurant for that matter. Everything was about ME, MY success, MY agenda.
The way I came across to my employees was as an overbearing tyrant and even a lose cannon at times. No wonder I had employee problems. I would have probably done the same thing as an employee with the same type of manager.
I must be completely candid and admit how difficult it is to try and look at yourself objectively, and admit that maybe, just maybe you’re at least partly to blame for many of the problems going on in the restaurant. It can be really, really tough to admit it and take responsibility. But for me personally, it was one of the best and I believe, smartest things I ever did. Good things started happening almost immediately.
I’ve seen some managers continue to play the blame game and deny any sort of responsibility. They continue to see it as the employees’ fault or something else as being the problem. And guess what? They continue down the same road filled with personal frustration, lousy relationships and a never-ending stream of employee problems.
Consider a little honest soul-searching and see if your ego can use a little reigning in at times. In our next Feature Story we will discuss the second principle of becoming a better manager that will help you create a more productive and successful working environment in your restaurant. .
As always, we welcome and encourage your comments, insights and feedback.
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